Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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