this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
