i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
