We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dick very happy bro
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
