There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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