i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
smell my finger.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
