My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
