i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
