Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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