and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
