low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I did not marry a roomba.
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