I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
