So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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