4 words: hood of his car
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
