Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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