She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
