You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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