i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
