Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize