Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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