All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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