Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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