I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
