What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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