Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
