we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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