Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
