U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
