i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
