he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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