Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
