She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
