And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No subtext here. People are naked.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
These tits shall not be calmed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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