I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
