we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
