Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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