And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
