Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
