The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize