Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
