Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
