my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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