sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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