It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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