Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
