he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
