Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
