So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
my poor anus
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
