i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
