I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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