take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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