you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
