Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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