Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
