apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
